New story "(Un)Fragile"
Disclaimer: As much as I may like to, I don't own Sephiroth.
Warnings: None, really. Maybe a little bit of sad Seph, but really not even that.
Word count: 554
Author Notes: I was bored and taking a break from cleaning and listening to Maria Mena and this came to me. It's supposed to show how, while Sephiroth has been trained to let go of all emotions, humans (even genetically enhanced ones) can't get rid of all emotion that easily. He still has some emotion, but he doesn't really recognize it for what it is.
I think I have a problem, I think I think too much
I've been taught to hold back my tears and avoid them
but you've made pain into something I could touch
- Maria Mena "Fragile (Free)"
"And make sure it's on my desk when I get there and no later!"
Sephiroth sent the quivering man running off with his shouted order and closed the door as he entered his personal quarters. They were anything but personal, however. The rather large rooms looked exactly as they had when Sephiroth was first moved into them. The walls were bare, the floor pristine. No dust collected due to the advanced filtration system that had been installed to deal with his enhanced ability to see/smell/taste particles in the air. The leather of the couch had no cracks to show it had ever been used. Sephiroth thought about it. It hadn't. It wasn't so much that he didn't want anything in his home, but all his life, he had been trained to have no emotion. That showed through his personality - and his non-exist desire to personalize his rooms. He moved through the space like a stranger, past the kitchen, past the closet, past his bedroom to the bathroom. He undressed methodically. He took off his gloves, then the jacket with the heavy shoulder guards. Next, the leather straps across his chest and his boots and socks. Finally, his black pants and boxers. He folded everything neatly and placed it into the laundry chute. Fresh clothing would be delivered when he ran out of clothes in his closet. He turned on the water to the shower and, while waiting for the water to heat, relieved himself in the toilet. He flushed with no fear of altering the temperature of the shower water; the pipes weren't connected for just that reason. He stepped under the gentle spray of water. Heat seeped into him and relaxed his body. Sephiroth washed his body quickly, but thoroughly. If there was one thing he hated, it was feeling dirty. The grains of dirt or the stickiness of sweat irritated his sensitive skin, so he cleaned himself as completely as possible whenever he could. After washing his body, he began the tedious task of washing his hair. As he poured shampoo into his hands to lather in his hair, he was aware of tears falling from his eyes. It usually happened when he was in the shower. He didn't feel sad about anything. He didn't feel much at all… except… sometimes he felt a twinge of… something . Like his heart being clenched in a fist, but not his beating heart exactly, just something in close proximity to it. It had never affected his actions, so he had never told anyone about this strange feeling. It sometimes came when he was on the field slaying some beast on orders from his superiors, or when he walked down a hall and he noticed people actually ducking into rooms to avoid getting in his way, or when a new recruit would stare at him in awe that was overshadowed only by fear. The… thing… in his chest would feel like it was being forcibly collapsed, but he would not allow his eyes to water in those situations. Only when he was alone, behind closed doors, where there were no cameras, would he relax and allow the tears to fall freely. He didn't know why they had the urge to do so, but as long as it didn't affect him, he would allow this one thing.